This week we’re buying Nokia! And not much else!

1. NOK- $3.91/share, 3.6% yield, weekly options. We’ve been selling Puts at a $3.50 strike, and closing it for a dollar the next day. YMMV.
   
   In any case, we like holding NOK. We liked it even before they started paying dividends.
   
   

2. F - $12.28/share, 4.86% yield, weekly options. We just felt like it was a good time to bolster our Ford holdings.
   
   Did you vote -your- shares? Did you vote to disclose the use of child labor overseas? The board recommends you vote against disclosure, but don’t bend to their will! We want to know about the children making our cars!
   
   We don’t mind the forced child labor overseas, that part is fine. We just want to make sure they’re doing it with passion.
   
   
   

3. ET - $15.96/share, 8% yield, weekly options.
   
   While this will generate a K-1 for you, there isn’t any actual state filing requirements. It looks scarier than it is.
   
   Just don’t put this bad boy in your IRA! You get this guy on a DRIP for the next 10 years, you could be looking at some Form 990 requirements. UBTI and IRA’s don’t mix.
   
   (They do, but it’s a huge pain in the ass for literally no good reason).

   
   
   

4. FCOB - $15.10/share. No dividends, no options. Here’s what Fidelity has to say;
   
   Company profile information is not available for FCOB. Just to be sure, we checked Nasdaq’s website. There is likewise no profile information or any record of dividend payments.
   
   Meh, it’s a bank. Buy it, sit on it, sell it after the next crash-boom cycle.
   
   *We have failed to properly predict market crashes. Sorry, our bad.
   
   
   

5. COAL - $23.95/share, this Coal ETF is super new. May 6th new. The charts still have the time of listing on the NYSE.
   
   So far it has technically lost money.
   
   It’s coal. just buy it. Trust me, bro.