Spring is here, and by tomorrow cannabis smoke will be in the air.

Who are we kidding? It already smells like weed everywhere you go. We really ought to re-criminalize pot. Life was better for everyone back when people were ashamed enough of themselves to make sure they didn’t smell like a goddamned reggae concert everywhere they go.

Also, dogs. Stop taking your dog to the grocery store. It’s disgusting, and it’s not a real service animal. You ain’t disabled.

1. NOK - $3.54/share, weekly options. Quarterly dividends, annualized at 3.77%.
   
   Anytime Nokia is under $4, we like to call it a Buy. Much like Rolls Royce, we fully expect this company to exist in perpetuity regardless of current performance.
   
   

2. SHEN - $14.64/share, monthly options, 0.62% annualized yield. This telecommunications behemoth made some difficult decisions in 2021, pumping out a massive dividend right before tanking the share price.
   
   We’re no financial analysts, but we do know that this company has been around since 1902 and is currently expanding broadband/fiber infrastructure.
   
   Frankly, we feel like now is a great time to add some more shares while the price is still depressed. We fully anticipate the price to double over the next 3-4 years.
   
   

3. TLK - $19.57/share, 5.62% annualized yield. These ADRs represent an Indonesian telecommunications company. We feel that it’s currently trading at a discount.
   
   

4. T - $16.34/share, weekly options, 6.80% annualized yield. ATT is pretty much the gold standard in paying out a consistently “high yield”. We say “high yield” because while 7% is, by definition, a high yield, we find that oil and natural gas often give better returns.
   
   However, with T stock, you never have to deal with K-1’s. Bonus!
   
   
   

5. VZ - $40.28/share, weekly options, 6.63% annualized yield. Verizon isn’t too much different from ATT in a lot of ways. In fact, we’re not certain how different they are at all.
   
   Our laymen understanding is that Verizon has a greater emphasis on wireless infrastructure for residential needs, while ATT focuses largely on business/commercial wired and fiber infrastructure.
   
   But they both offer pretty much the same phone service on the same towers. So F us running, who really knows? (Not us, that’s for sure!)