Rocky’s Weekly Stock Picks

Spring is here, and by tomorrow cannabis smoke will be in the air.

Who are we kidding? It already smells like weed everywhere you go. We really ought to re-criminalize pot. Life was better for everyone back when people were ashamed enough of themselves to make sure they didn’t smell like a goddamned reggae concert everywhere they go.

Also, dogs. Stop taking your dog to the grocery store. It’s disgusting, and it’s not a real service animal. You ain’t disabled.

1. NOK - $3.54/share, weekly options. Quarterly dividends, annualized at 3.77%.
   
   Anytime Nokia is under $4, we like to call it a Buy. Much like Rolls Royce, we fully expect this company to exist in perpetuity regardless of current performance.
   
   

2. SHEN - $14.64/share, monthly options, 0.62% annualized yield. This telecommunications behemoth made some difficult decisions in 2021, pumping out a massive dividend right before tanking the share price.
   
   We’re no financial analysts, but we do know that this company has been around since 1902 and is currently expanding broadband/fiber infrastructure.
   
   Frankly, we feel like now is a great time to add some more shares while the price is still depressed. We fully anticipate the price to double over the next 3-4 years.
   
   

3. TLK - $19.57/share, 5.62% annualized yield. These ADRs represent an Indonesian telecommunications company. We feel that it’s currently trading at a discount.
   
   

4. T - $16.34/share, weekly options, 6.80% annualized yield. ATT is pretty much the gold standard in paying out a consistently “high yield”. We say “high yield” because while 7% is, by definition, a high yield, we find that oil and natural gas often give better returns.
   
   However, with T stock, you never have to deal with K-1’s. Bonus!
   
   
   

5. VZ - $40.28/share, weekly options, 6.63% annualized yield. Verizon isn’t too much different from ATT in a lot of ways. In fact, we’re not certain how different they are at all.
   
   Our laymen understanding is that Verizon has a greater emphasis on wireless infrastructure for residential needs, while ATT focuses largely on business/commercial wired and fiber infrastructure.
   
   But they both offer pretty much the same phone service on the same towers. So F us running, who really knows? (Not us, that’s for sure!)