Oh boy, it’s almost Christmas! That probably means that Hannukah is in full swing, and Muslims are doing nothing because it’s not Ramadan yet. But you aren’t here to find out how unsure we are about major religious holidays - you’re here to be told what to buy this coming week!

For those of us on a tight budget, consider just buying fractional shares in dollar amounts. Not all brokerages allow this, but Robinhood sure does!

Also, markets are closed on Monday.

1. USOI - $82.18, next ex-div should be sometime in late January. Distributions monthly. This is a commodities-based ETF focused on, can you guess it? Crude oil. This is a Credit Suisse security, a company that isn’t in the business of losing money.
   

   This month’s distribution is $1.23/share. This represents an annualized 17.9% return.
   

2. XYLD - $39.56, this ETF is about $10/share lower than it was at the start of the year. This tracks covered calls on S&P 500 securities. TD Ameritrade is reporting a 13.26% annualized return at this price.
   

   The only question now is - will the S&P stop sinking anytime soon?
   

3. ORC - $11.06, ex-div 12/29, 17.42% annualized monthly distributions. This security underwent a reverse split not too long ago, so the price is actually lower than it “should” be and is currently recommended as “Sell” by various outlets.

   Screw that! Orchid Island Capital is a REIT. Why wouldn’t we want a high-yield REIT at a discount?
   
   The primary consideration is that you can almost guarantee the share price to stay where it’s at or decline. This could make exiting your position difficult. In our overall experience, however, we have found ORC to be more stable than what “professional analysts” (aka columnists at Yahoo! and Bloomberg) seem to suggest.
   

   Then again, if you’re buying equities alongside Rockydennis Presents, then selling your shares in the near-term isn’t part of the gameplan (usually)!
   

4. CHMI -$6.08/share, ex-div 12/29. This residential REIT’s share price is down, while the yield is annualizing a tad high, at 17.94%.
   
   We had initially favored other securities over this one, and are glad we waited. Now we capitalize on what to us is a discount.

   If we’re being honest, though, there’s pretty much never a situation where we recommend -against- a REIT. That is, unless, the company is based in China or owned by criminals. Even then, Fannie Mae still generates massive revenue, so….
   

5. JPM - $130.90/share, quarterly dividends, weekly options. Speaking of criminals….JP Morgan Chase! Just kidding (not really). While the 3% return isn’t very exciting (particularly when compared to US Treasuries), this is a nice single stock that is a safe place to park some money.
   
   Those who have been with us will know that ACVF is our go-to safe space, but the yield is even lower and still represents its own risks (barely). We here at Rockydennis Presents can’t imagine a world where JP Morgan isn’t making money.

   
   
   Why we don’t recommend JNJ anymore, despite being essentially the same as far as our dollars are concerned. - Frankly, we don’t care for their involvement with certain experimental drugs that have caused widespread damage to individuals and their savings. A family company? Hardly.
   
   We don’t mind evil, but we draw the line at hypocrisy. And Black Rock.