Well it’s not Friday, or even remotely close to Sunday yet, but tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Which, obviously, nobody is pleased about.

While the layman may enjoy a day off and feel no regret or shame in it, the rest of us are preparing to work double-time on Friday to make up for all of the lost productivity this week.

Holidays are the worst. They’re supposed to be a single day, but somehow the average mouth-breather manages to turn it into a 2-week event.

Now that you’re in the same festive holiday spirit as the Rockydennis Presents team, let’s get to our stock picks! We’re just going to put up stocks we actually purchased TODAY. We’ve been pretty much checked out since last Friday. LOL!

1. HIW - $18.08/share, quarterly dividends of $0.50/share, last ex-div was 11/17. This is one of our most favorite REITs, but that’s hardly meaningful. They’re ALL our favorite! We freaking love REITs! You just cannot go wrong with real estate (usually). Plus, the compliance requirements requires that these instruments pay out at least 90% of net earnings to shareholders. $$$
   
   
   

2. GOOD - $12.40/share, monthly dividends of $0.10/share, next ex-div is 12/15. If you want a good stock to own, this should be the most obvious one. It couldn’t be any more obvious. It’s practically slapping you in the face with a cod, screaming “This is GOOD!”. Because it is.
   
   Good is also a REIT, focusing on commercial spaces.
   
   
   

3. ARR - $17.39/share, monthly dividends of $0.40/, next ex-div 12/14. This is, you guessed it, another REIT!
   
   ARMOUR Residential REIT, Inc. pretty much says it all. (No link on that one, because it’s part of a proper name. Obviously.) The price seems to finally be turning back up, so we needed to bolster our holdings while the bolstering is good and cheap.
   
   
   

4. USOI - $74.69/share, monthly dividends of $1.85, last ex-div was 11/20. United Soy….just kidding. We hate soy.
   
   United States OIL….no, not quite. But it is an oil-based commodity ETF from Credit Suisse.
   
   It’s freaking oil. That’s all that matters. NOM NOM NOM
   
   

5. GLDI - $141.25/share, monthly dividends of $1.51/share, last ex-div was 11/20. This is another Credit Suisse ETF, also commodity-linked. In this case, it’s gold. We like gold. Gold holds its value.
   
   Now, before you go getting your panties in a twist and start spouting off about “if you don’t hold it, you don’t own it!” and “it’s not real it only exists on paper!”, we’d like to say that you’re right. It’s true, because it’s true.
   
   What’s also true is the absolute ridiculous amount of regulation that goes into the commodities market, the ETFs market, and also in business being able to operate transnationally. Not to mention the 50,000+ employees they have to properly manage and care for.
   
   Look folks, holding real gold is a great idea. It’s a fantastic idea. In fact, it’s the best idea. Also, a reliable rifle (AR-15, obviously) to be able to defend it from would-be intruders.
   
   That being said, when it comes to financial instruments, a reliable and well-regulated gold-backed security from Credit Suisse is a great way to make sure your money holds its value. (Plus, we legitimately bought fractional shares of this two and a half hours ago, so put that in your pipe and smoke it!).