The Rockydennis Presents Portfolio closed down nearly 2% today, wow! We find it strange that it correlates to the S&P 500, despite being intentionally invested away from securities that are in, or pegged to, the S&P 500.

All the same, we’re not feeling super thrilled. While normally we love a chance to buy discounted stocks, it’s just not a great time. If it’s a great time for you, then by all means, average down your Jan Michael Vincents!

For those of us whose Jan Michael Vincents are already deployed in other sectors, and have already hit the cap of two Jan Michael Vincents per sector, we need to Michael down our Vincents into something that is sure to win every time…

Energy!

1. ET - $13.11/share, 9.21% annualized return, and ex-div is…today, 10/27. Even though you’ll be getting a K-1, Energy Transfer is worth it. Options trade weekly, as well!

   We recommend not getting into a situation where you’re doing a lot of buying and selling, though. Unless, of course, you hate your accountant.
   
   

2. PBR/PBR^A - $15.36.share, $14.16/share respectively. It doesn’t matter which issuing you go with, the dividend is averaging 20% annualized. We aren’t joking. Ex-divs are too far out to have a set date.
   
   Of course, there are ADR fees involved, and the growth can’t last forever. Even Brazil has its limits. Still, at $15/share, it’s not a bad price to get in at.
   
   

3. DUK - $87.53/share, quarterly dividends, ex-div 11/16, annualizing at 4.60%. Monthly options.
   
   The price is at a discount (Under $100 is a definite buy). Not just the price of Duke Energy, but we saw some fantastic news today - they’re building a hydrogen plant in Florida. Hydrogen energy, you say? Construction in Florida, you say?
   
   Oh, and instead of burning natural gas, they’ll be using existing solar arrays to perform the electrolysis. We aren’t fans of solar, but if it’s already there and can be turned into hydrogen fuel (which can be stored more easily than raw electric power), then hey…win-win-win.
   
   

4. UEC - $5.50/share, monthly options. It finally happened…UEC finally found a safe place above the $5 mark. Obviously it’s only because we sold $4 calls after being assigned on $4 puts. Of course.
   
   Even if our shares get sold, we’ll keep the wheel going, obviously. In our perfect world, however, Uranium Energy Corp eventually starts paying dividends. We aren’t holding our breath, but we are keeping our fingers crossed!
   
   WE LOVE NUCLEAR POWER!
   
   

5. CCJ - $37.97/share, options trade weekly, ex-div 11/29. Yield annualized at 0.23%.
   
   If we sold our holdings right now, we’d have over 115% return. We’re not doing that, though. Diamond hands, baby!
   
   This stock has been solid as steel, which is doubly impressive given that they’re in the business of acquiring, processing, and refining uranium for use as fuel. Will the price see a drawback?
   
   Probably not. We feel as though this company is managed in a way where they prioritize capital preservation over earnings growth. Just shooting from the hip here, but stats don’t lie.