We continue our uneventful, boring streak this week. Patience is a virtue.

We just noticed that markets are closed on 6/19 for …. Juneteenth. …

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WTF is Juneteenth? How and why is this is a Federal holiday? Some of us have business to conduct, goddamn it! We’re not trying to wait around on a made-up holiday. We already have too many of those, we don’t need another.

1. USOI - $75.05/share, ex-div 6/20. These oil-based ETNs are brought to you by Credit Suisse. The return yield is still skewed from a reverse-split last quarter.
   
   This month’s distribution is $0.85/share. (Last month’s was $1.95).
   
   We love oil.
   
   

2. SLVO - $77.24/share ,ex-div 6/20. This commodity-based ETN from Credit Suisse is based on Silver.
   
   Here’s a tip - if you ever trade Futures, make sure your broker allows you to take physical delivery. Having a trade go south isn’t ideal, but who doesn’t want a semi-truck full of silver showing up at their house? …unless you live in the hood…then maybe that’s a bad idea.
   
   This month’s distribution is $0.7843/share.
   
   

3. FCO - $5.60/share, ex-div 6/22. The Aberdeen Global Income Fund is slowly coming back up in price. While we’re not super huge fans of global funds ran by Illuminati, we are super huge fans of reliable monthly income.
   
   This month’s distribution is $0.07/share. Next month’s will likely be the same.
   
   

4. GLAD - $9.78/share, ex-div 6/20. $0.08/share this month, and likely the same or more next month.
   
   Also pick up some GOOD shares while you’re grabbing these- you’ll be …. glad you did! BAM!
   
   

5. IFF - $80.35/share, ex-div 6/22, 4.03% yield.
   
   International Flavors & Fragrances Inc. is a creator and manufacturer of food, beverage, health and biosciences, scent and pharma solutions and complementary adjacent products.
   
   Yep. That’s how we’re rolling this week.