FACT - All GMOs will kill you.

MYTH - GMOs never smile.

FACT - Monsanto uses GMO seeds to make growing natural crops illegal.

MYTH - Joe Biden is the best Mario Kart player in the world. (He is only good at Mario Kart 64).

FACT - GMOs made your grandma autistic.

MYTH - Touching yourself will make you go blind.

Alright, let’s get serious for a minute. The real truth is that genetically modified organisms, specifically genetically modified foods, have existed for as long as humans have been farming crops and raising livestock. The bright yellow corn we know and love today is the result of genetic engineering. Carrots, that orange staple of cartoon rabbits everywhere, were originally purple. There are almost no natural bananas left on Earth, over 90% are clones. In fact, the sterile banana we typically think of has remain genetically unchanged for over 200 years.

In the case of bananas, there is serious concern about the possibility of a global blight wiping out the banana industry forever. Unlike the myth about cork trees being endangered, banana trees -are- endangered in a sense since they cannot reproduce on their own. To be fair, bananas that have actual seeds are freaking gross. Not just because we’ve been conditioned to accept a certain kind of banana as “normal”, but because they’re just plain gross and the seeds are kind of big.

“But Rocky!”, you say, “You know what people mean when they talk about GMOs! Stop being a dick!”.

Fair point! But do people -really- know what they mean when they talk about GMOs? The average person thinks of needles injecting DNA into seeds, or CRISPR altering tomatoes to produce meat protein.. Glow in the dark eggplant, anyone?

There certainly are some very extreme magic tricks that we can pull off thanks to direct genetic manipulation. And there is definitely a wide breadth of abuses possible with GMOs, but mostly that stems from monopolization of the agriculture industry (as well as the deluded bureaucracies that allow for the patenting of seeds and prosecution of farmers whose crops become contaminated with patented seed).

Disregarding the above Facts/Myths, I’m going to lay out the real TLDR truth about GMOs. I encourage you to do your own research on this fascinating subject.

In short, GMOs are the only way to feed the world. Organic farming is not sustainable or practical. If you want to grow heritage crops, you will need crazy amounts of pesticides and herbicides and of course fertilizers to achieve a viable yield. This hasn’t gotten any cheaper, or safer. GMOs can produce larger yields, can resist disease and insects with little to no chemical applications, and can grow much more rapidly. Also, more nutrients.

Now, what are the downsides to GMOs? The human element. GMOs can be made sterile. GMOs seeds can be patented, making the sale of crops from those seeds illegal for non-patent holders. This is a huge problem for independent farmers that can’t do anything to prevent wind and insects from cross-pollinating different strains of crops from different farms. Getting sued for selling tomatoes that grew on your land is BS.

GMOs can also be made sterile. And those sterility genes can also spread from farm to farm. Meaning you need seeds. This is where the Evil Corporate Conspiracy comes into play. If Monsanto can make all crops sterile, and control the seed supply, it can control the world! By the way, this is a real goal and realistically achievable in our lifetimes.

It’s also conceivable that GMOs can be made to produce non-nutritive chemical compounds. Ever heard of Tomacco? It’s not as easy as the Simpsons made it out to be, but it is possible to have tomatoes produce nicotine. It’s also incredibly cost-prohibitive…for now.

The potential for abuse exists wherever there is profit to be made. What keeps our worst fears from becoming reality is the intense scrutiny of the public. Just because Monsanto hasn’t made growing your own crops a felony, doesn’t mean they don’t want to. Doesn’t mean it can’t happen. But as long as people like you and I, and your drunk uncle, are willing to assume the worst and do our due diligence, we can keep our food supply safe and secure.

TLDR

GMOs are good. You would starve to death without them.

Never stop being suspicious. Corporations will use the food supply to control you, if you let them!