If you find yourself unwilling to work, just convince people you have coronavirus. Just constantly shout, “I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe!”. Obviously if you have difficulty breathing, the first thing you want to do is exhaust your oxygen supply as quickly as possible.

Ladies and Gentlemen, how many of us have seen the clips of supposedly hospitalized victims of the CCP virus (though you never really see the patients, just crumpled up sheets) and wondered how someone can scream at the top of their lungs and make words without the exchange of air taking place?

Is it entirely possible that a certain percentage of people have actually managed to set themselves into panic attacks, in fear of a virus that rarely kills anyone? (By the way, we’re still counting anyone that dies -with- the presence of covid-19 as having died directly from covid-19. That’s like saying rhinovirus is responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths annually).

Fact is, kids, if you can’t breathe then you can’t talk. Wasn’t there someone else who couldn’t breathe? Oh right, Minnesota’s most notorious methamphetamine dealer.

Would Gorgeous George still be alive today if he hadn’t resisted arrest while throwing a temper tantrum for 15 minutes? What if he hadn’t tried using fake $20’s at a store where he is known for passing counterfeit bills?

What if the store clerk that called the police had told the truth when asked what happened? Kinda messed up that he called popo on a drunk jigaboo then turned around and told America that Floyd was his best customer.

If I’m ever in a tricky situation where there’s any chance whatosever of having to be held responsible for myself and my actions, I’m gonna just scream that I can’t breathe until I’m recognized as a national hero.

So we have to conclude, based on the evidence, that George Floyd is in fact patient zero. Based entirely on his inability to breathe. And we know people dying of the virus can’t breathe, because they tell us they can’t!

Facts only matter to people that care about the truth. We’re Americans, we like our elections rigged and our information fed through the Big Media filter.