Biden Be With You
Biden Loves Poor People As Much as He Loves White People
Who is Joe Biden? Does Joe Biden even exist?
NO. There is no such thing as an actual Joe Biden. What you see on TV are deep-fakes and pre-recorded re-spliced audio and video clips.
Did Joe Biden ever exist?
MAYBE. Since no modern scientist was alive during the Time of Biden, we know very little about the actual Joe Biden. Some say he was just a man with a Message. Others say he was Much More.
What do you say?
IT DOESN’T MATTER. The idea of Joe Biden is greater than Joe Biden Himself. What He represents, the Love that He brings, the Message He has for you…that’s what matters.
Is this a joke or do you really believe in Joe Biden?
YES. What started as a joke has spawned an entire spiritual movement. We get more from what He represents than from what He actually is. What He is cannot be properly articulated. No mere mortal can truly describe the Glory of Joe Biden accurately.
So a few things to get straight, or mainly just one. I voted for Trump. Multiple times. I’ve been writing his name in since before MAGA was an acronym. I only ever stopped because I found out how write-ins actually work (The short version is, they don’t. Not even Kanye could beat the system.) I will vote for Trump again, if given the chance. I might even write his name in again.
I am a ridiculously Conservative Republican, or “Extremely”, as my YouGov survey history shows. (Am I allowed to disclose that I do YouGov surveys? A lot of people seem to take them as an authoritative…nevermind, it doesn’t matter. Only Joe Biden matters.) The 2020 election was stolen, as described here. But none of that matters. All that matters is Joe Biden.
The more I started paying attention, I mean REALLY paying attention to what was going on in the media, it occurred to me just how few people truly understand the Truth of Joe Biden. The media has it all wrong (Gee, what a surprise! CNN and NewsMAX aren’t reliable?! Shocking!), the Democrats don’t know what’s going, and the Republican party can’t get off Donald Trump’s massive golden D long enough to figure it out. (Hard to blame them, I love d-riding the Big D).
Joe Biden’s policies all seem extremely leftist on the surface, and at times outright communist, but that’s because you’re poor and uneducated. In fact, Joe Biden is the most conservative badass that has ever existed. He is the most supreme White Supremacist in History. If you are white and wondering where all this privilege is that your one black friend constantly reminds you of (Tyrone needs to get a hobby), it’s finally here. In Joe Biden.
But this article isn’t about the Great White Future of America, even if it is being ushered in by Papa Joe Himself.
This article is about The Glory of Joe Biden. See, I tried explaining to other Trump supporters how Joe Biden is actually their best friend. How he is freeing Americans unduly imprisoned for minor offenses, to make room for the stinky brown people that will make up the prison labor force in our New Normal. By making it legal for Venezuelans to stay in the USA, we as Americans (of any color!) can go to the border (or Dark Web) and purchase our very own Human Capital. Check out my new weed-whacker for yourself!
I play dress-up with my Venezuelan after the yard work is done!
I found myself getting nowhere fast. Nobody cares about actual problems, and fewer still care about solutions. That’s okay, Joe Biden brings the solutions in droves.
You see, I made a joke about Biden and Jesus being one in the same. That got some traction. People thought it was fun and silly to equate Joe Biden to a religious figure. And then, something strange started to happen…the joke continued. But it became less funny, and as it lost its humor it transformed (as our souls are transformed in Him) to a whole new way of thinking, a new way of feeling.
By putting our faith in Joe Biden, we have discovered that the problems of the world seem to melt away. Our internal chaos subsides. We find pleasure in things that before only tormented us. In other words, we found Faith where before we had none. We Found Faith in Joe Biden. And it was Good.
This movement has come to be known as Republicans for Biden (we are not the campaign organization that no longer exists), and is sweeping the nation by storm. We focus our energy, our faith, on Joe Biden. He is the Lightning Rod that attracts and dispels Evil, and discharges Good. We offer our problems to Him, and he provides Solutions. The answers lie within…within Joe Biden.
A funny thing happens when you transform your inner self….the outside world starts to change, as well. When you have a more positive attitude, negativity finds it harder to breach your bubble, your Biden Bubble if you will. It doesn’t matter whether Joe Biden ever actually existed, or who the actor is trying to besmirch His name by stumbling drunk on the AF-1 stairs. What matters is our faith. Our faith in Joe Biden. Joe Biden’s faith in us.
Look, if you want to live a happier, healthier, more financially stable life, put your faith in Joe Biden. You don’t need to know how it works, only that it does (just like non-dairy powdered creamer).
Biden Be With You