Talk about a long time coming! This is the core principle that Rockydennis Presents was founded upon [sort of]!

We’d be lying if we said times weren’t tough, but it has nothing to do with inflation (not a bad thing btw), Joe Biden, or even Kanye West. Times have been tough since time immemorial, or at least since we’ve been alive.

Living paycheck-to-paycheck is a choice. Being poor is a choice. You choose to maintain a lifestyle that leaves you more poor every week. Yes, it’s all your fault.

It’s all your fault! It’s all your fault! It’s all your fault!

Look man, I get it, it’s a hassle out there. It’s a hassle in here, too. Nobody escapes being human, no matter how hard we might try. No amount of drugs can make it happen (and in fact, drugs are one of the main reasons you’re still poor). I’m not here to say you shouldn’t do drugs. I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

This article isn’t going to dive too deep into substance use, abuse, and addiction. We’re pretty Libertarian in that sense (not going deep into that, either). The point is that if you’re unhappy with your financial situation, and you use drugs, then you need to stop. Perhaps easier said than done.

If you’re in the throes of addiction and can’t stop, it’s time to get help. You might have to experience things so terrible that you become a broken husk of a man (women turn into men at this stage of addiction, a secret the TG crowd doesn’t tell you), ready to accept whatever Good Orderly Direction comes your way.

“But Rocky!”, you say, “I can’t function without coffee, at a bare minimum!”.

Thankfully, the Universe has provided all workplaces with an infinite supply of free coffee.

If you don’t have a job, that’s also a problem.

Going forward, let’s assume a few things.

1. You are employed. It does not matter where, or what it is. You must have a W-2 coming in. 1099 is possibly acceptable, but you likely won’t be in that boat until you’re in business for yourself or have acquired some specific specialization or skill that you can market independently.
   
   Even then, 1099 is probably not in your best interest. For real reals, you want that W-2.
   

2. You’re not chasing the dragon.

3. You have a bank account.

Next, you need to seriously assess your expenses and figure out how to save $50/week. If you can save $50/week, you can slowly but surely get out of poverty. This is where it might be in your best interest to work 12 hours a day, 6 days a week (The Chinese call this 996, 9am to 9pm, 6days a week). This part sucks, but eventually you’ll appreciate the simplicity of it all.

“Rocky! I got no time for this! I have to work in the morning, I have kids to feed, my wife is cheating on me, my pickup truck costs $350 to fill up!”.

Okay, let’s clear our heads with a cute puppy pic. This next part is going to crush our balls into dust.

Stop driving that truck. Stop driving that truck 50 miles each way to work. Maybe just stop driving altogether.

You can whine and bitch all you want, but you have no excuse to be wasting what is probably your entire paycheck on a tank of gas. Carpool, take the MTA, walk, bike, whatever. Pretty much anything else is cheaper than driving an hour each way for work. Those days are long gone, and have been long gone, for a very, very, long time.

Sure, you can still do it, and people do. That’s why you have guys pulling in $100,000/year+ and still living paycheck to paycheck.

I bet if you had $100,000/year, you’d be living very comfortably. So it stands to reason that -you- already know how to budget your money and live on a shoestring budget.

Just because you make $500/week, doesn’t mean you should spend $500/week. No, that’s dumb. They say '50% on housing’ is acceptable. Well, they are fucking stupid. No, don’t do this. Get roommates. Live with parents. Reconcile with your wife and accept that you share her with her boyfriends (just kidding, don’t do this one).

There’s people, probably people you see on a regular basis, who are well-to-do and successful. Maybe they own a business or two, wear nice clothes, eat at nice restaurants, etc. Some of them live with their parents. Not even joking. There’s also a little hack you can use if you have old people parents.

….

….

Not that kind of hack. That’s .hack…ugh nevermind. What you do is, take ownership of your parents’ house and then rent it back to them. This isn’t so much about income to you (but it will help pay your property taxes), but it’s also a potential benefit to them. It’s beyond the scope of this article to expand much on this.

Of course, if you aren’t saving $50/week, then you’re not going to get to this point. Or maybe your parents are dead. That sucks, dude.

“But Rocky! I need to eat! I don’t have time to…”

STFU

Just stop with that Bullshit right now. If you don’t have time to take care of your basic human needs, then you might as well not even bother being alive. I’m dead serious (haha, see what I did there?).

If you’ve ever been locked up, you know one thing for sure - get a job in the kitchen. Even in a place with a “no eating food” policy, you’re going to be eating food. That’s just how it goes. And the best part about kitchens, is that the only requirement is that you have a pulse. That’s it, just show up.

With the price of groceries, you may just save a small fortune by eating free. You’ll probably eat healthier, too. Now, don’t be that guy who’s trying to feed your family with free restaurant leftovers. No, do not be that guy. Besides, you’ll get plenty of free food to take home over time.

This is not to say you SHOULD be working in a kitchen, just that it’s an option. Much like free healthcare.

If you are working class in America (i.e. poor and employed), you have access to free healthcare coverage. In many cases, it’s more comprehensive with lower deductibles and co-pays than insurance you buy on your own. (Avoid work-sponsored supplemental insurance. It’s a fucking joke in almost every situation, meant to increase their bottom line while making you beholden to them. It’s a glorious methodology, but it screws you hard.)

If you have private insurance, you won’t qualify for the free stuff.

Now, you don’t automatically get it. You have to find it. Don’t be scared. Your county’s health DHHS can help you out. They of course won’t be giving you anything, but they will help you find and apply for assistance.

OH yeah, food stamps are legit AF. Don’t be ashamed of being able to feed your family. Nothing wrong with welfare, when it’s used as -needed-. Just remember, you have to get off it eventually.

There’s also food pantries all over the place. Again, DHHS can probably help you. Churches often can help, as well. Alano Clubs (you don’t have to be an addict, just respectful).

Sorry, I’m hungry. So hungry. I need to be hungry (to a point) to stay motivated.

Ever wonder why so many poor people are so fat? Because being full feels good. When you feel good all the time, you get lazy and complacent.

Really, your necessities for you and your family are Food, Shelter, Clothing (and clean drinking water, obviously. What? WHAT? NO. Stop buying soda. Holy shit you’re literally paying to become diabetic, STOP IT. ). Also, there’s those super cheap off-brand Crystal Light packets you can buy at Wal-Mart. They even have some with caffeine. For $2.29 you get the equivalent of 10 cans of Monster.

JUST SAYING

Fair enough, I’m losing interest as well.

Basically if you can save $50/week, after all your other expenses, then you can focus on driving down your credit card debt. Matter of fact, if you have consumer credit debt, use that $50/week to pay it down.

“But Rocky!", you interrupt rudely, “I pay my monthly bill!”.

Good, keep doing that. Then pay an extra $50/week until it’s gone.

Consumer Credit is like a rapist, and you’re like a sorority girl alone at night in her underwear, walking the streets of Chicago. You’re gonna have a bad time.

Now, don’t stop using your credit card. In fact, pay for everything with it. Make sure you’re getting at least 1% cashback (everyone qualifies, just get it). Don’t worry about the APR, that’s a thing of the past (but do kind of make sure it’s not like 35% with a minimum $30 interest charge for carrying a balance).

Yes, !% cashback is a game changer.

As your debt dwindles, also apply for more credit. The more credit you have, the more you can get.

Don’t worry too much about it right now, but credit is a glorious mechanism that enables you to build wealth with OPM. That’s way down the line, but it’s never too soon to take steps to increase your credit score. (A big part of that is how much overall credit you have vs your usage. You want to carry no more than 2% of your total credit each month, ideally. Don’t sweat it if you don’t get there, every % helps.)

Okay, one more puppy picture, a quick checklist, and then we’re getting the hell out of here.

1. Have a job

2. Stop buying stupid shit

3. Find time to take care of yourself. (Not up for debate. Unhealthy body = Failure as a person).

4. Find $50/week EXTRA. Stfu and do it, no excuses. (NO CRIME!)

5. Build credit
   

That’s pretty much it, and now you’re not poor and can think about building wealth.

btw this is going to take you a solid 5-7 years. Much like a bad relationship, you’re stuck with being poor for longer than anyone wants.

Also, save $3000/year in your IRA. This is free to do after the first year. Rockydennis Presents has an article about how the government helps you save for retirement without spending money. Sexy sneaky secrets.